Jokes Central
Ajit Jokes
(NOTE : This page contains explicit hindi contents written
in roman script. If you don't know hindi, this page is not for you.)
Ajit was an actor of Indian Cinema, he acted in many Hindi
Films as a villain. He was not comedian nor his acting was comic, but due to few
dialogues of him, we in India, have a separate joke series named Ajit Jokes.
These jokes are chiefly related to two side of coin, both ends opposite to each
other. Like "Raabert, dushman ko liquid oxygen mein daal do", now here he states
reasons, "Liquid ise jeene nahi dega aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega"
Now here are some famous jokes (taken from different
websites) -
- (Scene --> Ajit murders a man.)
Ajeet : Raabert, Is aadmi ko Hero Honda ki tank mein dal do.
Raabert : kyon baas?
Ajeet : Fill it,shut it,forget it!
- Boss : Raabert!
- Rab : Yes, bass?
- Boss : Yeh "bus" mei kuch hawa daal do.
- Rab : Lekin, kyon bass?
- Boss : Yeh bus "Airbus" ban jayega.
- Robert : Boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.
Ajit : Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.
- Scene --> Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.
- Ajeet : Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
- Raabert : Magar kyoon baas ?
- Ajeet : Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
- Ajeet : Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur
debugger starrt kar do.
Raabert : Lekin kyoon, baas?
- Ajeet : Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
- Ajeet : Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
- Raabert : Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.
- Ajeet : Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone
milana.
- Raabert : Yes Boss.
- Ajeet : (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,tumhari Maa
hamare kabze mein hai .......
- Scene --> Ajeet comes to know about the traitor in his gang.
- Ajeet : Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara to
Pain se mar jayega.
- Scene --> Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.
Ajeet : Peter, time bomb le aao aur is saale ko usse bandh do. Timer ko teek
das bajhe set kar do.Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta
hai. Iska mauth bhi late hona chahiye.Timer ko panch minute late rakh do.
Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh math
rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha. Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic'
karke bajega. Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup'karke dhad kega. Tum agar paas me
khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup' suanaai dega".
- Ajeet : Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi
jayega
- Raabert : Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein
boss?
- Ajeet : Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
- Scene --> Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...
- Ajeet : Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aa rahaa hai, woh
hamara mehman hai. Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir
woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !
- Scene --> Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter...
- Ajeet : Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke
pare door Birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett (cheverlett)
nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal de gee...on..off..on..off
- Raabert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
- Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...
- Raabert : Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
- Ajeet : Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise
jeene nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.
- Peter : Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?
- Ajeet : Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein
ticket dete-dete thak jayega.
- Peter : Boss is saale ka kya karen ?
- Ajeet : Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega!
- Robert : aur boss..iska kya karen ?
Ajeet : Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !
- Scene --> Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
- Ajeet : "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur
finish bhi aa jaayegi."
- Bob : Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajeet : Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padega.!
- Scene --> Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajeet : "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo. Saale ko
Society jeene nahin degee aur security isse marne nahin degaa.
- Scene --> Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a
hole and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !
Raabert : Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet : Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me
OUT likh do. Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale jayega
!!
- Scene --> Ajeet is worried about something. Robert is facing him.
- Ajeet : Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain.....
- A pause.....
- Tum chootti le lo.
- Scene --> Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert : Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
Raabert : boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet : Repeater.
- Scene --> Raabert had triplet and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert : Boss, mera teen bachche ka keya naam shoche hein aap?
- Ajeet : Ek Naam rakhkho, Peter, Repeater aur Wang Chung.
- Raabert : Teesra ka naam "Wang Chung" kiu boss???!!!
- Ajeet : Beokuf, tumhe malum nehi...is prithwi me paida hone waalaa
har teesra bachcha Chinese hota hai.
- Ajeet : Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.
- Raabert : Stool, boss ?
- Ajeet : Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.
- Scene --> Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his
chela.
- Ajeet : Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein
hara rang laga do.
- Maikal : Lekin kyon baas?
- Ajeet : Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to
ise range haathon pakad legi. he he he....
- Scene --> Raabert and Ajeet go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...
- Raabert : Boss....more.. more...
- Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it and says...
- Ajeet : Nomore !
- Robert : Bass is gaddar ka kya karen ?
- Ajeet : ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi
sui-cide hua hai.
- Peter : bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
- Ajeet : Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.
- Ajeet : Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.
- Ajeet : Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.
- Robert : kyu boss ?
- Ajeet : Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar
dena.
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